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When we bemoan Reggie Bush's relationship, we overstate our knowledge, understate our ignorance, highlight our lack of a serious life, and low-ball our own worth.It's petty gossip masquerading as social commentary, and unbecoming of a "welcoming and open-minded" people.

My position is that for women of color, this very common "wince" has solely to do with the African story in America.

Scott goes on to detail the history of black women, racist degradation, and beauty standards. But I think the key problem here is a common one--a kind of collectivist approach toward something as individual and private as marriage.

It's totally out of whack with what I see/hear in my daily interactions.

It's as if all our complainers, all our naysayers, all our insecurities got together and went into journalism.

I admit when I saw his wedding ring, I privately hoped.

But something in me just knew he didn't marry a sister. My body showed no reaction to my inner pinch, but the sting was there, quiet like a mosquito under a summer dress. Did the reality of his relationship somehow diminish his soul's credibility? One could easily dispel the wince as racist or separatist, but that's not how I was brought up. I was taught that every man should be judged by his deeds and not his color, and I firmly stand where my grandmother left me.

First, some history: When I was a child, watching my pops get ready to go out was something to behold.

He would spend hours preparing his mask every morning for whatever crowd, person or community he faced.

They go to bed with someone who does, or doesn't, think it's a bad idea to blow the rent-check on school clothes.

They go to bed with someone who does, or doesn't, think it's a priority to keep the living room clean.

Relationships are not (anymore, at least) a collectivist act.

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