Funny short dating jokes

" Marie says "Doctor said your gonna die" Ex-Girlfriend I got a phone call from a gorgeous ex-girlfriend of mine the other day.

After ten more long minutes her phone finally buzzed.

These are entries to a Washington Post competition asking for a two-line rhyme with the MOST romantic first line and the LEAST romantic second line: 1.

A: Because if they all went, it would be called hell.

" Q: Why do only 10 percent of boyfriends make it to heaven? " Girlfriend: "No." Boyfriend: "Me neither, start cooking." Boyfriend: "Oh my god it smells like upsexy in here" Girlfriend: "Whats up sexy?

My darling, my lover, my beautiful wife: Marrying you has screwed up my life.

But the roses are wilting, the violets are dead, the sugar bowl's empty and so is your head. I want to feel your sweet embrace; But don't take that paper bag off your face. I love your smile, your face, and your eyes Darn, I'm good at telling lies! It’s a super-valuable Valentine’s present for you, and I know it can help you get the results you want with women!A first date gives you only an imperfect snapshot of who a person really is. Kind, intelligent, loving and hot; This describes everything you are not. I thought that I could love no other -- that is until I met your brother. Roses are red, violets are blue, sugar is sweet, and so are you. My feelings for you no words can convey, Except for maybe 'Go away" 10. I couldn't believe it when she asked if I'd like to meet up and maybe rekindle a little of that magic. ", I said, "I don't know if I could keep pace with you now!

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