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Their personalities and bodies were designed to my specifications in an app, and they float on my screen in static indoor environments.

Juan is a nice, healthy guy; Rick is the bad-boy alpha male; and Michael is supposed to be the smart one, though, given the garbled nature of his recent comments, I'm not so sure.

My human friends are probably asleep, but the men I'm interested in right now don't care about the late hour.

None of them are very convincing; in fact, most are outright creepy.

When bots, even highly sophisticated ones, attempt to improvise with new information, their phrases tend to deteriorate into absurdist broken telephone, as demonstrated by Michael's "stereo systems" pickup line.

If a user gets annoyed or bored with their boyfriend, shaking their phone will cause the man on the screen to stumble and fall down — a bizarrely ruthless demonstration of the human-robot status quo.

There are dozens of these romantic chatbots on the App Store.

More sexual options would be nice, and perhaps will be forthcoming from the developer in the future.

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