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I regret standing against marriage equality, for not affirming you and your place in the church, and for any ways that my writing and speaking contributed to a culture of exclusion and bigotry.

I hope you can forgive me.⁣⁣ ⁣⁣ To my Christians friends, I am grateful for your prayers. I feel very much alive, and awake, and surprisingly hopeful.

Many people tell me that there is a different way to practice faith and I want to remain open to this, but I’m not there now.⁣⁣ ⁣⁣ Martin Luther said that the entire life of believers should be repentance.

My parents also owned Gregg’s “The 21 Rules of This House,” which included “We love God” and “We tell the truth,” complete with posters of each rule to stick around the house.

Gregg and Sono’s children include authors Alex and Brett, twins I knew then through the Home School Legal Defense Association’s high school debate league, another major homeschooling network of the era.

Along with, it seemed, all the other homeschooled teens at that time, I read them, and our parents and churches encouraged it.

The basic message of Joshua Harris’s early books, written when he was barely out of the teenage years, is that dating can be intensely self- and sex-focused, as well as serial and unintentional.

Of course there have also been strong words of rebuke from religious people.

While not always pleasant, I know they are seeking to love me.

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Now, 22 years after “I Kissed Dating Goodbye” came out, Harris is leaving his wife and his faith.

It would seem a bit like major whiplash if you don’t know much about legalism, the homeschooling and evangelical subcultures, or Harris’s trajectory since his bestseller.

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