Advice for dating a widower
When I came into the widower's life, the family of the late wife was as cold as ice to me.
At first I didn't understand it, but as time went on I began to realize why.
Her name and memories may come up in coversation and it can get really awkward. In the end, being with someone who lost a spouse is not for the weak of heart and not for everyone.
this is not the same but I lost my father and I can understand how it is to lose someone that you love dearly. This is going to be a journey but I’m going to try to make it work. Find out what days are sad for him (her birthday, her death day, anniversary) and ask him what he does on those days. The widower would get grief stricken on these days and these days were, dissapointingly, never the same for her again.
I just want to not run away because I don’t know how to navigate this situation due to a lack of experience. As far as being intimate, it may lead to bouts of grief and tears.
If you're not ok with these and he won't change to help you be with him, I'd say move on.
It may be that holding on to the past is more important than a future with you. He's a widower who has been sort of a consultant in this and has helped many people in your situation. His family and friends may not be ready to see him with a new person.
I think you should give it a chance as it sounds like you guys get on great. The important thing here is that you communicate your feelings and worries about the issue to him.
While I feel sorry for his loss, I would not want my relationship to be overshadowed by the loss of his wife or the love they shared. What they had was beautiful and the loss is tragic, I feel deeply sorry for him and I wish the situation was simple for you, but he has to be in the right frame of mind to engage in another relationship. I think the main thing you both need to do is communicate.I thought these would not bother me, but it's different once you're emotionally invested in the person (like being a widow/widower, you have no idea the depth of the pain until it happens to you!) This will give you an idea of IF you even want to pursue this relationship.It was extremely selfish of them to treat me that way as my fiancé was just trying to move forward and be happy.Another thing you may need to get used to is being around "their" friends.It is a journey, but I think every relationship is a journey and worth it for love with the right person. Not right now, I'm still raw from that overwhelming experience.Tags: Adult Dating, affair dating, sex dating